Tabitha and I met through my husband Andrew, whom Tabitha has known for longer than I have! She and her husband worked with the youth for several years at the church where Andrew grew up. She and I connected quickly, especially after Andrew started chiropractic school. Tabitha’s husband Eric went to dental school after they got married, so she has been such a cheerleader for Andrew and me during our time in Georgia, and has helped calm so many of my fears and apprehensions regarding Andrew’s future as a doctor. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. She’s been a prayer warrior for us throughout our infertility journey, and she has made me so thankful for the way that God places people so strategically into our lives. Her story is amazing; just like she is.
My story starts way back in 1998. My husband Eric and I married young at 19 and had the world to conquer. The first few years I used birth control because I was told it was what we were supposed to do. While on birth control for the first time in my life I had a regular cycle. Beforehand I would go months to even years with no menstrual cycle. I thought as a teenager that I was LUCKY! Little did I know that was actually a sign…
About two years later, Eric and I decided that I should stop taking birth control because of the incredible mood swings that it caused and the fact that I could hardly remember to take it regularly didn’t help any. So back onto the schedule (or lack thereof) of a cycle…
In May of 2001, I became pregnant. I went to my medical doctor and she confirmed. About a week later, I started spotting a lot and went back to the doctor and she confirmed that I had an ectopic pregnancy and that I would need to come in every other day to check my HcG level (pregnancy hormone) to see that it was going down, meaning my body was “ridding” itself of the pregnancy. After a few checks, the number had not changed. They could see the baby in my fallopian tube and confirmed there was no heart beat. The doctor felt it was best to help my body by giving me two injections of Methotrexate, one in each butt cheek. Can you say painful? Those puppies HURT!
We were actually on our way out of town for a working vacation when I received those injections. We had gotten about 2-3 hours from home and I became very ill. We stopped at a Shoney’s on I-95 and I was stuck in the bathroom, crying and in pain, so much so that my Eric had to come into the restroom to rescue me. Eric was so scared that he called my mom and asked if she’d met us at our home. My mom stayed with us for a week.
This horrible time passed and on with life we went. I had the deepest desire to have children, even though I knew with Eric being in school, that it was not a good time. We talked about it a lot, yet nothing happened. We were not using any precautionary measures and were choosing to let God’s will be done. I went through cysts on my ovaries to rupturing cysts on my ovaries. One caused me to pass out and fall out of the shower unconscious, being rescued by my neighbor. I never officially was diagnosed with PCOS but my current doctor says looking at my history; she would have diagnosed me if it were she who was taking care of me then.
Then after Eric’s graduation, we moved back to our hometown. Shortly after our move I found myself pregnant again and we lost another baby. This time the sting was worse and so deep. No drugs to help my body along this time and no mom staying with me to care for me (though she was nearby). My heart hurt but time marched on. I still had a great longing for a child that was DEEP within me. My heart cried out to God. My mom gave me a necklace that had a “prayer box” charm on it. Inside she wrote on a tiny piece of paper; “To Have a Child”. I wore it often and remembered the prayer inside as it was the cry of my heart. It was what my soul longed for. I would go to the alter and pray at church, pouring my heart to the Lord. I had ladies that would support me and pray with me. I knew there were people that cried out to the Lord on my behalf. I had folks asking me if there was some “sin” in my life that would prevent the Lord from answering me or hearing my prayer. I thought that was the meanest thing EVER. So hurtful! I had people not think and say things like, “Maybe it wasn’t meant to be” or “Maybe you should just let it go!” How does one let go or just deal with something that is so imbedded into your soul, a longing so deep that you physically ache?
My new doctor suggested that we take Clomid to help us get pregnant. It was pricy for us, as my husband had just graduated and I was without a job still from our move. We still were not taking any precautionary measures and decided to add the Clomid. I went through some dye testing to look at my fallopian tubes to see if there was an obstruction that prevented a clean flow through the tube. Everything physically looked great.
Fast forward to the early part of 2004 and I got pregnant again…another ectopic pregnancy. I was devastated. Point Blank. No words. My doctor was so loving and kind and took such good care of me. My husband was broken, just as I was, but was strong and took such great care of me. Our doctor talked to us about invitro and adoption and basically left it at that. I was continuing to see him every other day for him to watch my hCG level fall to zero. We had planned to go on another working vacation, coincidentally the same location and event that we were on our way to in 2001. My doctor stated that since my hCG level was so close to zero (88) that he would allow me to go as long as I promised that when we returned in a week that I would come in and let him document in my chart that the number was zero. I told him that I would and off we went. After returning I got a call from my doctor reminding me to come back in and so I went. The number was 1200. He stated it was probably a fluke and that he needed me to return in 2 days to check again. Back I went two days later and it was 5000. My doctor asked me where Eric was, and I advised him he was at work. He stated he needed him to come immediately down to the office. My doctor called Eric and asked him to leave his patients and come to his office. I just knew it was horrible news and I would be going to the hospital or something. Upon Eric’s arrival, we went to ultrasound where my doctor, Eric and I were all in there together with the ultra sound tech. My doctor pointed at a little sac in my uterus with a visible detectable heartbeat. My doctor clapped his hands and stated that he could not believe it. He asked if I had a cycle while I was gone. “Nope”, I said. He asked if we had intercourse while we were gone. I told him no. He had NO EXPLANATION! Mind you, he was not a believer. He said that we would watch it closely and consider myself “high risk” and he was “cautiously optimistic.” I thought to myself, those were harsh, horrible words that could have gone unsaid but deep inside; I knew…I just knew! I had a deep underlying peace that could not be explained. That high risk, cautiously optimistic sac was my miracle. His name is Noah and he is 10 years old.
2 years later Noah was follow by his baby brother, Jason who is now 8. We weren’t even trying. My heart was content.
I truly believe that my boys are miracles. Only God can take a situation where NOTHING lined up and completely dumbfound my doctor with NO logical or scientific reasoning behind and turn it into a beautiful baby to answer my heart’s cry.