Amy and I met through the blogosphere a few years ago, when we were both on our journeys to becoming mommas. Though she is not blogging actively anymore, she was blogging regularly at the time. She is such a gifted writer with such a sweet, Christ-like spirit about her. I used to check her blog daily for updates, yearning for the encouragement and hope I knew I’d find there. If you would like to read her entire story, from beginning to end, you can find her blog here.
My baby boy hates getting his nose cleaned, but for the last week or so, he’s had a persistent runny nose that has needed to be cleaned out with the Nose Frida (a ground breaking, efficient tool for sucking the boogies- gross, but necessary.) He fights and screams and wiggles and cries, understandably as I inflict this form of torture on his cute little button nose. But afterwards, he wants me to comfort him and hold him and rub his soft fuzzy head with hair that poofs adorably on the sides.
Today I have a ginormous pile of laundry, a lunch mess waiting for me in the sink, on the kitchen counter and all over the floor to clean, the insurance company to call and a number of items on my mental to-do list, but they all can wait. They all can wait because this baby- my very own miracle baby, likes to be comforted by me- his very own mama, and I will oblige this wish, because I know full well that these years are short, that this baby, and these times are he very ones I prayed for, cried for, begged and longed for and this baby with this need to be held after the nose sucking is the baby God chose just for me; my miracle baby.
The road to Motherhood for me was not an easy one. Infertility still stings. My hearts still freshly remembers the deep pain of desiring children, but being denied that gift that comes so easily to many. Just this month I experienced another failed frozen embryo transfer attempt to expand our family, and it hurts, but there is this beautiful child that I prayed for waiting for me- and God answered my cries and blessed me beyond my wildest hopes and dreams when he made me a Mama to this special boy. God gave me not only the baby I desired, but the very baby He knew I needed. He chose to answer my prayers for this child not when I wanted, but the time that He knew was perfect.
This child is the one God chose to give me supernatural strength to care for when running on less than a couple hours of sleep through the night. This child, who did not sleep through the night till 10.5 months.
This child, who is curious and observant, whose favorite past time is sifting through garbage and second favorite is chewing on shoes and laces.
This child, who treats when I open the dishwasher like it’s the wardrobe door to Narnia.
This child, who enthusiastically eats everything his aspiring Mother-chef makes and squeals with delight when I let him sample my food creations. Who loves the “How do Dinosaur” and “Little Blue Truck” books.
This child who only contentedly naps in my arms, and sometimes snores, laughs, drools, smiles and kicks when he sleeps while happily hold him for hours- staring admiringly and praying with the most overwhelming heart of thanksgiving I’ve ever felt.
This child who shares his Daddy’s blue eyes and happy heart. This child, who loves dancing and music, especially “Uptown Funk” and of course, Christmas music (like his Mom!) and whose smile lights up the whole house!
This child, who I will absolutely do any ridiculous sounding, looking, dancing, singing move or faces just to hear the sound of his contagious cackle- my absolute favorite sound in the world.
I see now, how every detail, trait, and temperament he has is unique. That had he come at a different time when I would have picked, it would not have been him. For this child I prayed, and had he come when I begged and sometimes demanded, it would not be him- my very own miracle baby. So when he wants his mama for comfort, I don’t take it for granted, and try not to take anything for granted, never wishing anything away- even the nose-frida’ing.
This is one of the things I was made for, what I prayed for, and “For this child I prayed; and The Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him.” 1 Samuel 1:27
If any of you reading Amy’s story would like to share any part of your own Miracle Momma journey, I’d love to have you be a part of this blog series! You can e-mail your story and pictures, or any questions you have, to Logan@withgreatexpectation.com.