Yesterday marked one week that Bonnie has been with us. It was also Andrew’s and my first day alone with her, since my mom spent the week with us. She was an enormous help, and I was so nervous about her leaving yesterday morning. But the day went so well!
Bonnie had her first sponge bath this week, her first walk at the park, her first trip to the library, her first trip to Publix and Target, her first fussy night (but only one!) and her first visit to her pediatrician. It is so crazy to think that EVERYTHING that happened in her life this week was brand new. No wonder newborns sleep so much! Experiencing so many new things each and every day must be exhausting!
Part of me can hardly believe she’s an entire week old, but another part can hardly imagine our lives without her now. She makes all of the waiting seem so insignificant… waiting through infertility, then through fertility treatments, and then through nine months of pregnancy. She makes all of that seem like a distant memory. And she makes it all so, incredibly worth it. I don’t think I will ever be able to look at her without being reminded of the goodness and grace of my Heavenly Father.
Even the circumstances of her birth remind me that our plans and our fears are futile, because we have a Savior who holds our lives in His hands. My greatest fears about Bonnie’s birth never came to pass, yet I spent hours and hours worrying over them (the possibility of induction or c-section, and not being able to deliver her naturally.) My biggest fear about the days and weeks after Bonnie’s birth was that I would have insufficient milk supply and be unable to breastfeed. I spent so much time worrying over this. Yet it never came to pass either.
All of that to say this: God is already using Bonnie in my life. Every single day.
I will return to regular blogging, and “normal” blog posts soon. But for now I am focused on enjoying our little girl, spending time with her, and spending time with her dad, who has the next few weeks off!